when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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