And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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