I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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