i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
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Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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