I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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