Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize