six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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