you turned your livingroom into a bong?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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