her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
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I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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