Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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