I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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