He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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