Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
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That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
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we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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