WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
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yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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