I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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