Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
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She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
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You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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