I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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