this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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