I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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