i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize