Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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