Jerry, you need to find god
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
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Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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