She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize