Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize