hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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