The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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