I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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