I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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