Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
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