I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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