new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize