That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
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Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
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His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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