i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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