i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize