When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize