Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I understand Curling. That high.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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