dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i love accidental penises.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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