I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
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Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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