He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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