Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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