Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
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I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize