Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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