Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
so much tequila, so little girl.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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