He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize