there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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