Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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