At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize