woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize