is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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