Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
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We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
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I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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